...Someday...

If there's one song I won't get tired of ever listening to is Nina's Someday. Composed and written by Nyoy Volante, it depicts of a person's hope that someday, there will a come a person who'll see through her and will treat her right -- quite the exact opposite of what she gets in the relationship she has right now.

As unfortunate as it can be, the only thing we can't do in any given relationship is to tell the person exactly how we want to be treated and loved. Worse, to even say, "love me" or better yet ask a heart to open its door when it has chosen otherwise.

As unlucky as an unrequited love is a one-sided relationship that sees not your worth and because of love, that oh so stupid love, you stay and hope, thinking the person will have a change of heart.

Despite the pathetic treatment, you still can't find the strength to leave him and move on -- not because we're plain suckers for agony and hurt but simply because you love the person and there's no rational explanation for that no matter how you try.

Someday
Nina

Someday you’ll gonna realize,
One day you’ll see this through my eyes.
But then I won't even be there,
I’ll be happy somewhere,
Even if I can't.

I know,
You don’t really see my worth.
You think you're the last guy on earth
We’ll I've got news for you,
I know I’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long...

Someday, someone's gonna love me.
The way, I wanted you to need me.
Someday, someone's gonna take your place.
One day I’ll forget about you,
You’ll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday...

But now,
I know you can tell,
I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye.

Coz someday, someone's gonna love me,
The way, I wanted you to need me.
Someday, someone's gonna take your place.
One day, I’ll forget about you,
You’ll see, I won’t even miss you,
Someday, I know someone's gonna be there...

Someday, someone's gonna love me,
The way, I wanted you to need me.
Someday, someone's gonna take your place.
One day, I’ll forget about you,
You’ll see, I won’t even miss you,
Someday, someday...

Kinda proves the universal truth that no matter who and what we are in life, we all experience the same kind of joy, pain and hurt and join each other's misery through a song that dreams of a love we all long to have... someday.

Grow Old With You

Like everybody else in this planet, I am afraid of growing old alone.

In the legal academe where we study the intricacies of the grounds and legal actions taken by couples whose marriage cannot work for them in one way or another, the hopeless romantic in me has never been forgotten nor forsaken. I pity them for having had to contract marriage out of any other reasons but love. For taking each other in paper only but in reality, that's just plain crappy and shitty.

I still believe that if you truly love the person whom you had promised to spend your life with, there will always be a way to settle indifferences and make up for your inequities. Otherwise, do not get married at all and add up to the statistic.

I love the idea of taking care of someone and being taken cared of just the same when you're both old and gray...

Funny how I usually imagine how I will look like -- gravity will take its toll on my skin and appearance yet that person can still get to say that I'm the most beautiful woman...

Our sense of hearing will fail us and we will have to shout at each other to convey what we want to say yet when we hold hands and look at each other's eyes, words need not be expressed... we just know that despite aging, our love is sheer timeless.

Then there will be times when our memories will have its lapses and continuously detoriate... True, it will be painful to see your partner becoming senile and all but therein goes the hope that love has created in our hearts -- the mind may forget but the heart never will.

Patience will surely run out, the house will be as tupsy turvy and as smelly as hell, embarrassing moments will occur more frequent and things will be remembered or often times -- otherwise but the vow to stick through thick or thin; for richer and for poorer and in sickness and in health remains unbroken.

On a personal note, I think that's the REAL essence of marriage -- it's not just about the union, the purpose to perpetuate and perform your marital obligations but to love one another unconditionally and without mental reservations. To love and marry, what your partner might become whether be it better or worse and not just for who he/she is now or how he/she looks.

I'd like to grow old with someone whom I truly love. Someone whom I'll look after and will do the same to me. Someone whom I'll be more than willing to trade the years I have left just so that person's life could be prolonged and that person's existence, though quite useless as others may opine, will surely be my moving reason to fulfill my marriage vow... to love and to cherish that person, til death do us part.

Age does not protect you from love.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

- Jeanne Moreau

The Deal About The Green-Eyed Monster

Ralph Fiennes once said in the movie The End of The Affair, "I measure my love on the extent of my jealousy..."

I admit it, I am a jealous lover and this I can't get out of my system already. Something which has been a source of constant and endless tiff with my lover and I.

I do not like it when my lover looks at beautiful girls or when my lover chats or is online when I am not (overly possessive, eh?) and yes, I do get jealous when my lover receives text messages from people I don't know and from people my lover is not supposed to get text from. And above all this, I get jealous with the mere thought of my lover's ex (with this topic, I can't help but nag a lot!).

A deviation from the usual routine irks me, too. And because of my jealousy, I sometimes get too irrational.

Do I really have a grounded reason? With all the assurance I get, I know I shouldn't be but the green-eyed monster listens not to any justification. It just feels like it.

I am fully aware I am talking nonsensical things here though this isn't my first to be.

Why am I blabbing all of these?

Because she didn't call me when she was supposed to...

Because she didn't even text me the whole morning and it wasn't her usual...

Though I knew how busy she was...

Though I knew she had a valid justification...

My logic dissipates whenever the green-eyed monster is present and so for now, I am off to treating her silently once again.

I hope by tonight, the green-eyed monster has gone somewhere else so we can be back to our state of peace -- playing Bookworm and competing with each other who gets the highest score, munching on Oishi's salted potato chips or just plain whispering to each other about sweet nothings.