Bottled Thoughts

Along with the streams and mountains of codal provisions, jurisprudences, insurmountable case digests and an unfinished appellant's brief, in between my chaotic and tupsy turvy world (and my room), is this loneliness inside.

I miss HER. I miss the person that I am whenever SHE's around.

Figaro. Baywalk. Max's. Coffee Bean. Oody's. Thumb's Up. Robinson's Place Manila. Greenbelt 3. Glorietta. Digital Exchange. 714. PANGGABLE.

I am going out of my head.

I realized I cannot just make things happen no matter how bad I want them to be. I just cannot take a person out of HER world and bring HER to mine because that will be unfair and plain selfish of me.

That will take an act of God. So for now, I am asking for a miracle.

And I'll keep my faith along with my fingers crossed.

To the person I truly miss most...and to the oceans, seas and islands that keep us apart.

Dagat
by Gary Granada

Namamaybay
ang tubig sa paypay
ng hanging habagat

Dumadampi
sa umaasang pisngi
ng tabing-dagat

Dagat na pagitan
ng ating pag-ibig
singlawak,singlayo, singlalim
Ngunit sa isang panig
dagat ang nagsasanib
ng dalampasigan mo sa 'kin

Namamangka
ang aking diwa
sa nakalipas

Tumatawid
sa ibayong daigdig
ng ating bukas

Sa dagat ng pangako
sa laot ng pangarap
sa alon ng iyong mga halik

Dagat din ang luha
ng pusong naghihirap
naghihintay sa iyong
pagbabalik...

The Deal About The Green-Eyed Monster

Ralph Fiennes once said in the movie The End of The Affair, "I measure my love on the extent of my jealousy..."

I admit it, I am a jealous lover and this I can't get out of my system already. Something which has been a source of constant and endless tiff with my lover and I.

I do not like it when my lover looks at beautiful girls or when my lover chats or is online when I am not (overly possessive, eh?) and yes, I do get jealous when my lover receives text messages from people I don't know and from people my lover is not supposed to get text from. And above all this, I get jealous with the mere thought of my lover's ex (with this topic, I can't help but nag a lot!).

A deviation from the usual routine irks me, too. And because of my jealousy, I sometimes get too irrational.

Do I really have a grounded reason? With all the assurance I get, I know I shouldn't be but the green-eyed monster listens not to any justification. It just feels like it.

I am fully aware I am talking nonsensical things here though this isn't my first to be.

Why am I blabbing all of these?

Because she didn't call me when she was supposed to...

Because she didn't even text me the whole morning and it wasn't her usual...

Though I knew how busy she was...

Though I knew she had a valid justification...

My logic dissipates whenever the green-eyed monster is present and so for now, I am off to treating her silently once again.

I hope by tonight, the green-eyed monster has gone somewhere else so we can be back to our state of peace -- playing Bookworm and competing with each other who gets the highest score, munching on Oishi's salted potato chips or just plain whispering to each other about sweet nothings.