The Big Fish

When I was growing up, I could vividly remember how certain I was of my plan for ehem... being the President of this country (my military allies and COMELEC friendships will surely help me cheat...errr... win, I meant) and go for world domination. And while I was busy occupying my mind with the idea of taking over this entire planet, my playmates and classmates alike were busy planning how to get boys' attentions, their dream guys and fantasy weddings.

Until I got a bit older, instilled in my mind the same nasty plans and always driven to go one step higher and get out of the usual mediocrity. On the other hand, I had changed friends from high school to college to Masteral to Law School but I still hear the same things my childhood friends were also discussing before, only this time, the plans grew more elaborate and quite expensive.

Right from the very start, I knew marriage was not for me.

I grew up in a conventional and traditional family... so stop trying to analyze why I have this skewed concept over myself and marriage... THEN.

I just didn't see myself sharing my bed to anybody else but me. I never wanted anybody seeing me sleeping, my face half buried in the pillow, disheveled hair and all that crap in the morning. I didn't like the idea of cooking for anybody else unless I wanted to. My idea of fun is being in solitude. The house to myself.

I didn't want anybody to see the other side of me -- the vulnerable one, the mushy one, the spiritual one, the childish one and yes, even my ugly temper. I had built a solid fortress around me for so long and I never wanted someone to intrude up until love knocked in my highly-guarded castle and I knew right then it would be chaotic and would bring havoc and mayhem to the semblance of order that I have.

And out of all the mistakes I have committed in my life, I knew loving was the most correct thing I ever did and this time, I knew my heart is beating right.

Now, I don't want to be the "Big Fish" that refuses to be caught. I joined my friends in the wagon of love -- in their dreams of "That Day" and "The One". I am quite fine with the idea of being weak and vulnerable in front of that person. Letting my true colors show. Being crazy in love and finally, letting somebody sleep with me in the same bed.

I don't mind if I don't get to dominate the world... No more plans of one currency and one passport... But don't be fooled -- I still want to be the Chief Executive of this country (say your prayers Francis Escudero!). Just for the time being, my biological and social clocks are ticking. Politics can wait and so is Malacanang.

Truly some things in this life can never be postponed or suspended nor be discarded because we thought they would never materialize and vanished the thought of great possibilities and of endless chances.

God is indeed good and that life is beautiful.

Right now, life couldn't get any better than settling down with the one I love and finally getting to say this vow... until death do us part.